I would

I don’t remember driving
or even having the idea but I’m here.
Every few minutes the stillness yields to
a family with a full bike rack
a couple whose back plate says Oregon
a group of teens singing out their windows.
It’s almost 2 and I’ve been neutral
since many cars ago.

If any of them stopped I would’ve said hi.
Lovely, to meet people who ask my name,
who see what might be and not know what was.
I’d answer questions I’ve already been asked
with words I’m just learning to use.
I’d gush of a past that hasn’t happened
and then I’d paint next year,
next year,
a dream of all that is different.

A truck rumbles through and my imagination
stops talking.
I’m here but don’t remember how
I started longing for a life that’s not been lived yet.